to this...
I never craved children. I wasn't against the idea, just indifferent. Like many men I've spoken with, I felt like I had forever. No rush. I would come to parenthood when I was good and ready, after I had achieved my dreams. I focused on my professional ambitions, and parenthood would just have to wait.
This attitude did not change as I saw my wife's belly swell. It did not change as we packed for our final trip to the hospital (five minutes before we left, I completed the first draft of my book, "Uncovered"). It did not change as her labor intensified and the inevitable was upon me. I watched from a distance, oddly disconnected from reality.
Then he appeared. I looked at his perfect face and I was ready to die for him. The shift happened immediately. I couldn't imagine life without him.
I've known him for six years now, and my initial emotional reaction has deepened into a new perspective about life. I am forever changed, and I don't even recognize the man I was six-years-and-a-day ago. The function of my ambition has shifted, from a selfish pursuit of success to an example for my children. My heart has swelled with each passing year.
Hudson, I am intensely proud of the boy you are, and I'm excited to see the man you become (but no rush- take your time growing up). I do have one selfish wish on your birthday- that I have as positive an impact on your life as you've had on mine.
Thank you, Hudson. I love you.
